How Does That Make You Feel?
by Countess Kawakage
Summary: Kakashi has finally had enough of his genin's attitudes. So he decides to take them to a Therapist, who happens to be Gai, whether they like it or not. Humor, One-shot


**I thought it would be fun to write a fanfic about Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura having to sit in a room and talk about their feeling towards one another. And alas "How Does That Make You Feel?" was born. This takes place around the time of the Chunin Exams. This is my first Naruto fanfic, so I hope you like it!**

Three unconscious bodies resided in the corner of a dark room. A figure, the one who had tied them up, groaned as they studied their work. They were satisfied, for the three 'kids' were bound and gagged. There was no chance for the trio to escape. In fact, the stranger could just leave them there, where no one would think of finding them. That thought made them smile. It vanished when the pink-haired girl lifted her head.

"Uh-oh," the silhouetted man whispered. The girl's emerald eyes flashed with panic. Tensing, the man withdrew a kunai from his sleeve. Just as he aimed it, the lights flickered on.

"Alright! Let's get this on with dedicated youth!" Gai announced with enthusiasm. He rushed through the room with a flourish. Instantly the pink-haired girl looked around wildly, glancing at Gai to the figure that had tied her up. She was shocked to see Kakashi standing there, his eye expressionless. In his hand was a kunai, intended for her. She started to scream, but due to her mouth being gagged with a towel, no sound escaped.

"Never sneak up on me like that again." Kakashi sighed and turned to face his… rival. Gai looked confused for a moment before sending a dazzling smile towards the Jônin.

"So I scared you, huh? Then this makes the score 230 to 228, with me being in the lead, of course," Gai said. _You are such a narcissist, it makes me sick. _The silver-haired man thought, tuning out his _rival _for a moment.

"Can we just get this over with? I'd rather be reading than stuck here."

"You were the one that asked for my help, so I'll say when we begin."

"If we don't start soon, I'll walk out that door."

"Then remove your students' restraints and we will begin." Kakashi sighed once again before stepping toward the genin. He stood in front of Naruto for a moment. The blond was still asleep and drooling horribly. In a snap, the towel fell to the floor. More spittle trickled down Naruto's shirt. Repulsed, Sakura tried to scoot away. Her efforts were in vain, for she managed only an inch.

Once her fabric was removed, she started to chew out her sensei.

"What the hell is going on? The last thing I remember is falling asleep in my room. When I wake up, what do I get? I find myself tied up next to a blabbering idiot who won't stop drooling! And why are we-" she stopped when she noticed a sleeping Sasuke leaned against her. Her cheeks were then tinted red as her green orbs widened. "Never mind, you can leave me like this." Her small grin spread, turning into a wicked smile of enjoyment.

"Wh-what's going on?" Naruto asked, wearily opening his eyes. Glancing at his bound body, and then at Sakura who looked utterly insane, he started to yell. "Where am I? What's happening? Why am I tied up? Kakashi-sensei, you are so going to pay for this!" Ignoring the blond, Kakashi crouched in front of Sasuke. He was surprised that the Uchiha was still asleep. Untying the towel, he noticed the slightest movement in the Uchiha's mouth. It was as if he was scowling.

As soon as Kakashi stepped back, Sasuke attempted to jump to his feet. The binds around his ankles sent him toppling to the ground. A growl escaped him as he glared at his sensei.

"Why?" he demanded. The Jônin earned a bewildered look from two out of the three students. Sighing, Kakashi turned away from them.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Naruto shouted. He fidgeted in his restraints, trying to escape.

"Oh, nowhere. In fact, none of us are going to be leaving this room until I say so," he said. The genin looked confused, except for Sasuke who was glaring daggers.

"And why is that?" Sakura asked. Her eyes narrowed into slits. It was a look that didn't fit her and made Kakashi laugh.

"You all have problems with one another. So today we will be working on said problems. And if you don't like it, then that's your problem. None of us will be leaving this room until you all come to an understanding of each other. Alright?" he answered. Fury appeared in his students, unsatisfied with his actions.

"You are insane," Sakura muttered. A frown grew deeper on her face.

"You got that right!" Naruto added. Anger blazed in his blue orbs before they turned scarlet for a second. Kakashi seemed unfazed by his genins'…attitudes. In fact all he did was sigh and sit down on one of the only two chairs in this room. Gai took the other one, turning it around so he could see the youth's faces.

"Let's get this started!" he shouted enthusiastically. He earned two groans and a humph. _This is so lame!_ Sakura thought, struggling against her restraints. It was no use, the ropes were bound tight. Not even the Escape Jutsu worked.

"Fine, just get this over with!" she yelled. She wanted this torture to end. Grinning, Gai opened up a notebook, a pen in hand. He scribbled something down before turning to Naruto and Sasuke.

"Our first topic will be… how has your first kiss impacted you?" he asked. Instantly the boys froze, a sweat-drop trailing down their faces. Sakura's face went blank, the painful memory resurfacing. A shudder passed through her spine, making the air chill for a moment.

"I prefer to keep that in the box labeled, 'scarred for life,'" Naruto muttered. He shook his head violently to clear the memory. Sasuke's face froze as he too imagined that horrible day. Gai scribbled something down as he dismissed their behaviors.

"Then, let us get to how you feel about each other. Sasuke, you are up first," he instructed. He was trying to look like a therapist. He used the memory of when his parents took him to therapy at such a young age. Kakashi glanced up from his book, the slightest gleam in his eye. At least someone else was dealing with them for a change.

"Since Kakashi brought me here, I feel a growing irritation towards him," Sasuke began, looking at his sensei. He then shuddered as his thoughts began to flow. "Naruto is the biggest dobe I have ever met and I want him to know that I will never be friends with him. I also want Sakura to know that I will never love her no matter what happens. She needs to stop fantasizing and train harder to be an actual ninja." This was the most anyone had ever heard from him. He was always such a quiet weirdo.

At his words, Naruto started to shout out a string of curses. He kept saying that Sasuke needed to pull a pole out of his ass while Sakura began to cry.

"How can you say that Sasuke-kun?" she questioned. She closed her eyes as tears streamed down her cheeks. The Uchiha made a groaning sound before feeling a pinch on his butt. He tried to turn his head and saw a dart sticking out of his left buttock.

"Ino!" Kakashi shouted, looking at the only window. Sure enough, the blond Kunoichi rested on the pane. A bamboo reed was in her smiling mouth.

"Damn, my aim was off. I meant to get you Billboard-Brow! Hehe, at least you know that he doesn't love you!" she exclaimed, looking at Sakura. The pink haired-girl felt like flipping her rival off, but due to her restraints, was unable to. Gai placed his notebook down and walked over to Ino. He pushed the girl out of the window and locked it behind him. He didn't want any more interruptions.

"Now, before Sasuke blacks out, I want Naruto to tell his teammates how he feels," Gai said. He took his seat once more and crossed his legs. Naruto glared at Sasuke out of the corner of his eyes.

"I want Sasuke to know that he needs to stop prancing around like the annoying brat he is. He's not the king of the world and needs to stop acting like we're all his followers. Sakura needs to get an actual taste in guys because she can do so much better than liking Sasuke. What's wrong with me?" he shouted, causing Sasuke to sneer.

"We're right here, idiot," he growled, making Naruto even angrier.

"Okay, the reason that I don't like you Naruto, is because you're stupider than Akumaru, and he's a dog! Learn to be more like Sasuke, and then I _might_ consider you a decent friend," Sakura droned on. Her voice made Kakashi feel sleepy. He had to admit that watching the genin was very interesting, but Sakura's voice sounded annoying.

"Okay, Sakura, your turn," Gai intervened, stopping Naruto from saying anything. _Finally! Now I can chew these idiots out._ The pink-haired Kunoichi let out a small laugh.

"This may take a while. I don't know what you want Sasuke, but I think we could live happily together and I'm not going to let you ruin that dream. Even if I have to kidnap you and keep you hostage in my basement, I will. I'm not going to let you be an idiot and pass me by. Okay? Uh, Sasuke?" She looked at him to see his head hanging backwards and his eyes closed. Pouting, she struggled against the ropes again before turning towards the blond. "Naruto, you need to stop being such a child and grow up! I mean seriously, you act like a freaking five year-old and it's so damn annoying. Plus you say 'Believe it!' fifty times a day which is more irritating than you know. And you talk about ramen nonstop! I mean, if you can help it, just keep your mouth shut." By the end of her _speech_, Kakashi felt like duct taping her mouth again. He could see that Naruto wanted her to shut up as well.

"Since Sasuke is, uh, unconscious and is no use to us, let us continue with just you two," Gai said. He started to grow bored and began tapping his fingers on the notebook. The compensation for his pain should be great for the agony. What he didn't know was that Kakashi had no plans of paying him.

"No! I would rather have my ears cut off than listen to her." Naruto looked at his sensei with a wide pleading stare. After hearing her screeching voice for so long, his crush on her was dwindling. "Just get me away from her!" Sakura let out an annoyed gasp. When they were free, she'd be killing a certain blond knucklehead.

"This was a total mistake," Kakashi whispered. He watched his genin haranguing each other. Sighing, he signaled to Gai. The silver-haired Jônin walked to his students, a kunai in hand. Using his free hand, he slapped the Uchiha on the cheek. He repeated this until he saw Sasuke twitch. Slowly, the Uchiha gained realization of what was going on.

"Mommy?" Sasuke whispered. His eyes fluttered as his head spun. Kakashi sighed again before retaking his seat. Gai scratched down that Sasuke thought Kakashi was his mother. Finishing the note, he turned back to the three kids.

"Yeah, and Sakura's got a crush on that," Naruto snickered.

"I don't know what Ino shot me with, but it does not feel pleasant," Sasuke mumbled, popping his neck. When he saw that he was still tied up, he groaned. Sakura felt slightly relieved that she hadn't received the dart. But she also felt sorry that Sasuke was drugged.

"Okay, let's get back on subject. What do you wish to accomplish with your teammates?" Kakashi asked. He placed his hands in his pockets. Gai moaned and the bowl-cut haired idiot started to pout.

"You told me that I am the one that gets to ask questions! I have the notebook, like a _real_ therapist!" Gai whined, sounding like a small child. Fighting off the urge to decapitate his fellow Jônin, he glanced back at the children. Naruto had resorted to his animal instincts and was trying to chew his way out of the restraints. Sakura was nagging Sasuke, who looked ready to shoot himself.

"I want Sasuke to die a painful death and I want Sakura to marry me after she lets go of her fangirl attitude!" Naruto exclaimed. The pink-haired girl flinched and whipped her head to face him.

"I'd rather have my limbs torn off, my head imploded and my body set on fire than marry you! Now, if it was you Sasuke… I'd say yes in a heartbeat." Sasuke rolled his eyes at her remark, feeling as if he was about to vomit.

"One, I'd never ask you out. Two, I'd rather kill myself than spend more than an hour alone with you. Three, I want you to stop being so annoying. And four, I want Kakashi to let me go before I bite my tongue and attempt to drown in my own blood." The Uchiha felt his companions gasp and flinch in surprise. What he didn't know, was that it just made him appear more emo than he was in the first place.

"Ah, ah, ah. You forgot Naruto," Kakashi _tsk-tsk_ed. Sasuke bit back a nasty reply and looked at the blond.

"I want you to sew your lips together so that I never have to listen to your voice. You'll be a better puppet that way," he said. A hint of smile played on his lips as he thought of having a life-size Naruto punching bag. Then he could throw out the fake one he already had.

"I'll do that as soon as you pull that stick out of your ass! It might make you nicer and people will actually like you!" Naruto raged. Sakura started to laugh at the blond, knowing his words were useless on _her_ Sasuke.

"Tch, what's the use of friends?" Sasuke mocked. The two boys started to have a war of words, which neither of them was winning. Sakura, being the fangirl she'll never admit to, watched Sasuke with a feral smile. Images played in her mind that would sicken even Kakashi-sensei. And he was the one addicted to porn.

Kakashi thought that his had gone far enough. He stepped away from the genin and sighed.

"I'll let you guys go on two conditions. One, you must promise to not get at each other's throats or I'll put each of you in a coma. Second, you have to answer one question," Kakashi warned, glancing at each of them. He twirled the kunai in his hand, waiting for them to answer. He heard Gai snoring, and wondered when he had fallen asleep. _No wonder it was quiet._

Hesitantly, his students each agreed.

"Now, what have we learned today?" Kakashi asked. The three genin blinked at him, not expecting a question that stupid.

"Sleep with your eyes open," Sasuke muttered darkly.

"Never trust your teammates," Sakura spat.

"Therapy sucks," Naruto moaned.

Kakashi sighed and threw the kunai over his shoulder. _No one would miss these brats, right?_ Smiling, he turned and left. The genin's shouts and pleas called after him. But he pretended that they didn't exist.

**That was fun to write. Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Naruto**_** or any of the characters mentioned. **


End file.
